You’re not crazy for still thinking about them. You’re not weak. You’re not stuck because you “can’t let go.” You’re stuck because your nervous system made them a representation of something much deeper than just “a person you dated.”

Let’s get real: You say you want love. But are you actually available for it?

It’s easy to make a list of everything you want in a partner. It’s harder to look at how you might be blocking it, avoiding it, or having you choose people who are the exact opposite of what you claim you want.

It’s easy to think the relationship is the problem.

That if you could just find the right person—someone less triggering, more communicative, more emotionally available—then it would all finally feel easy.

But here’s the truth:Most relationships will reflect back the very things you haven’t yet healed.

In some families, there’s one person who’s always felt different.

Not because they were trying to be—but because they could feel what others couldn’t.

Long before they had the words for it, they sensed something was off. Unspoken. Unacknowledged. But deeply felt.

That person is often labeled the black sheep.

You know that feeling when someone is warm and loving one moment...  and cold and distant the next? It’s not just confusing. It’s addictive.And if you’ve ever been caught in that push-pull dynamic, you know how deep the hook goes.

For most of my life, I thought my problem was wanting love too much.

I was the girl who felt things deeply. Who gave her heart fast. Who stayed in relationships far past the expiration date because I believed if I could just be better—less needy, less reactive, more secure—then maybe I’d finally get the love I craved.

Breakups are brutal. They shake us. They disorient us. They often leave us spiraling, wondering what went wrong and what to do next. But what if I told you that this moment—yes, this one right here—could become your most powerful opportunity for growth and clarity?

Obvioulsy breakups are hard. They’re painful, disorienting, and they can really shake the foundation of how we see ourselves and experience life day to day, when we are used to having this person in our lives and now there is a void. 

But here’s the truth: breakups also hold the power to become a massive catalyst for healing and growth.

We are energetic beings.
The way we come across—how we react, how we relate to others—has everything to do with the energy we’re carrying.

The frequency we embody directly affects our relationships.

One of the most common struggles I see in my work is attraction to emotionally unavailable people. It’s frustrating, confusing, and often deeply painful. But it’s also incredibly common—especially if you grew up with inconsistent love, emotional neglect, or felt like you had to earn connection.

"Pay attention to your patterns. The way you learned to survive may not be the way you want to continue to live."
– Thelma Bryant-Davis

So many of the patterns we play out in adulthood aren’t random. They’re not about the other person, or about “bad luck,” or even about not being good enough. They’re about survival.

This is one of the most important relationship shifts you can make.

If you can integrate just this one practice—not making the other person wrong—your entire relational dynamic will begin to shift. I’ve seen it with my clients, I’ve experienced it in my own life, and it’s a core principle I teach over and over again. Because it works.

Dating can be a wild ride—especially in the beginning stages.
The nerves. The fantasies. The constant overanalyzing.
Wondering if they’ll text back.
Trying to decipher mixed signals.
Falling for the potential instead of the person in front of you.

A lot of people have a list of ideal qualities they want in a partner—and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s important to know your non-negotiables and your dealbreakers so you can stay in alignment with the kind of relationship you actually want to create.

How we do one thing is how we do everything. If we have a pattern of thinking around lack and limitation, it will show up in every area of our lives—relationships, money, career, health. This is because it becomes the lens we unconsciously look through. When we shift the filter, the circumstances begin to shift too.

As I navigated a breakup a while back, I noticed something that stuck with me…

When I went to people for support, many of them jumped into “fix-it” mode. They wanted to give me advice or help me shift my mindset—rather than simply holding space for what I was feeling.

It came from love, but it actually created more pain.

Do you feel like the importance you place on a romantic partnership far outweighs all other areas of your life? Do you feel like if you don’t have a romantic partner then life is pretty meaningless? You’re not alone…

A couple of weeks ago I was at the beach with one of the sisters in my soul family, Martha. I was sharing with her that I am making a conscious effort to be mindful of who I share intimate details with regarding my relationship because I had been noticing that I was receiving some feedback that didn’t feel good to me. I have realized it is very important to hold the relationship sacred and be really mindful of who I share things with if breakdowns or challenges arise.

We have been programmed to believe that there is someone out there who will “complete” us and that until we find that one special person, we are incomplete…

We are made up of energy and our energetic field attracts or repels things to us depending on our resonance. This is why there are sayings like “when it rains, it pours” because whatever vibrational field we are existing in will attract more of the same to it…