Subconscious Reprogramming: The Patterns Beneath the Patterns
"Pay attention to your patterns. The way you learned to survive may not be the way you want to continue to live."
– Thelma Bryant-Davis
So many of the patterns we play out in adulthood aren’t random. They’re not about the other person, or about “bad luck,” or even about not being good enough. They’re about survival.
Between the ages of 0 and 7—before we had the capacity to think critically or logically—we were absorbing everything around us like sponges. At that age, we’re in a brainwave state similar to hypnosis. That means we weren’t just learning how to walk or talk… we were learning what love means. What connection feels like. Whether or not it’s safe to be ourselves. And what we have to do to belong.
If we experienced chaos, emotional neglect, inconsistency, criticism, or had to suppress parts of ourselves to be accepted, our nervous system adapted. We formed beliefs to help us make sense of the world:
“I’m too much.”
“I have to earn love.”
“People leave.”
“If I’m not perfect, I’ll be rejected.”
“I can’t trust anyone.”
And because the subconscious mind’s job is to confirm what it already believes… we begin to live out those beliefs—without even realizing it.
Why This Matters in Relationships
This is why so many of my clients come to me saying things like:
“I keep attracting emotionally unavailable partners.”
“I want love, but I shut down or sabotage when it gets close.”
“No matter how hard I try, I end up in the same dynamic again and again.”
It’s not because they’re broken. It’s because their nervous system is wired for what’s familiar—not what’s healthy.
You can consciously want a safe, loving, stable relationship…
But if your subconscious believes love means self-abandonment, control, volatility, or proving your worth… you’ll unconsciously recreate those dynamics. Even if they hurt. Even if they don’t make sense.
Awareness is the First Step—But Not the Last
Bringing these beliefs to light is the first step to freedom. Because if we don’t know what’s running the show, we can’t change it.
But awareness alone isn’t enough. This is why talk therapy often leaves people understanding why they do something, but still doing it anyway.
To truly shift, we need to work at the level where these patterns were formed—in the subconscious mind, in the body, in the nervous system.
This is the work I do with clients.
We identify the beliefs that are still running in the background. We look at the childhood experiences that created them. And then we rewire them—so you’re no longer living your life through the lens of your past pain.
We use tools rooted in neuroscience, somatics, and emotional healing to prune away the beliefs that no longer serve you and replace them with new, embodied ways of being.
Because once your internal world changes—your external relationships have to follow.
You Are Not Broken
This work isn’t about fixing you. It’s about remembering who you were before the world told you who to be.
It’s about learning to feel safe in your body again.
Safe to speak.
Safe to feel.
Safe to receive.
Safe to love—without abandoning yourself in the process.
If this speaks to something deep inside of you, I’d love to connect.
This work is powerful. It’s life-changing. And if you’re ready, I have space for one more client.
Click [here to book a free consult and explore what’s possible when you stop surviving and start choosing.