Relationships Are Mirrors: Do I Stay or Do I Go?

It’s easy to think the relationship is the problem.

That if you could just find the right person—someone less triggering, more communicative, more emotionally available—then it would all finally feel easy.

But here’s the truth: Most relationships will reflect back the very things you haven’t yet healed.

They’ll bring to the surface your deepest fears, your core wounds, your old beliefs about love and safety and worthiness. Not because something’s wrong. But because intimacy is the arena for healing—if you're willing to do the work.

So many people ask me, “How do I know if I should stay or go?” And the truth is… you won’t always know right away. The water is often murky when you're still swimming in your patterns.

If you leave before doing the inner work, you'll likely recreate the same dynamic with someone new. Different face, same story.

The real work isn’t always about leaving the relationship. Sometimes it's about leaving the pattern that keeps repeating.

👉 The pattern of abandoning yourself to avoid conflict.
👉 The pattern of shutting down instead of expressing your truth.
👉 The pattern of choosing people who can’t meet you—because deep down, you don’t fully believe you get to be met.

Triggers don’t always mean something is wrong with the relationship. They’re an invitation. A flashlight pointing toward what still needs your attention. But if you don’t know how to hold your triggers, you’ll either explode, shut down, or run. And you’ll miss the opportunity to grow through it.

This is the work: To pause. To feel. To investigate. To choose a new response.

To get so honest with yourself that you can see what’s yours, what’s theirs, and what’s old pain disguising itself as present truth.

Once you’ve done that, the clarity comes. It always does.

Because you’re no longer looking at the relationship through the lens of your wounding—you’re looking at it with clear eyes and a regulated heart.

And from that place, the answer—stay or go—will feel solid. Not reactive. Not anxious. Not clouded by hope or fear. Just true.

If you’re in that place right now, swimming in the murky middle, I want you to know this: You don’t have to figure it all out alone. This work is hard, but it’s also holy. And it’s the kind of work that changes everything.

When you're ready, I’m here. This is what I do.

Book a call with me today and let’s get started on the work together!