Attract What You Want by Being What You Want
A lot of people have a list of ideal qualities they want in a partner—and there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s important to know your non-negotiables and your dealbreakers so you can stay in alignment with the kind of relationship you actually want to create.
But before you go looking for someone who embodies those qualities…
You have to ask yourself:
“Am I showing up as that version of myself first?”
Because the truth is—we attract what we are, not what we say we want.
We attract what feels familiar to our nervous system.
We attract people from the level of self-worth, self-love, and self-awareness that we currently embody.
If you want a partner who is consistent, grounded, and loving—you have to become consistent, grounded, and loving in your own life.
Not perfectly.
But in process.
Showing up that way now, not waiting for someone to enter your life to activate it.
The outer world reflects the inner world.
It always starts with your own energy and your own embodiment.
One of the most powerful lessons I’ve learned (and now teach my clients) is this:
“Only what we are not giving can be lacking in any situation.” – A Course in Miracles
Every time I’ve felt like my needs weren’t being met, it was often because I wasn’t fully giving those things to myself—or to the person in front of me.
I wanted to feel heard and understood, but I wasn’t actually listening or trying to understand them.
This is not about self-blame—it’s about empowerment.
It means you have the power to shift your experience by shifting your way of being.
Ask yourself:
✨ What qualities do I want to receive in a relationship?
✨ What parts of me still don’t fully believe I deserve them?
✨ How can I start embodying those qualities for myself first?
When you shift how you show up in the world, your life starts to shift with you.
This is how we break the old cycles.
This is how we attract new dynamics.
This is how we call in what we actually want—without settling or chasing or contorting ourselves into someone else’s ideal.
If you need support getting clear on your patterns or stepping into the kind of energy that attracts healthy, fulfilling love…
💜 You don’t have to figure it out alone.
Let’s talk.