Conscious Dating: Being the Observer

Dating can be a wild ride—especially in the beginning stages.
The nerves. The fantasies. The constant overanalyzing.
Wondering if they’ll text back.
Trying to decipher mixed signals.
Falling for the potential instead of the person in front of you.

It’s a lot for the nervous system.
And it’s no wonder.
Most of us weren’t taught how to date consciously—we were taught to perform, to chase, to shrink, or to overgive.
And many of us are unconsciously drawn to what feels familiar… not necessarily what’s healthy.

So what do we do?

We slow down.
We tune in.
We get clear.
And we shift from chasing connection… to observing what’s real.

One of the most important shifts in conscious dating is learning how to be the observer.
This means giving yourself space to really see what’s happening—not just what you want to happen.

The first 3–6 months of dating is what I call the “observer phase.”
You’re not attaching.
You’re not projecting.
You’re OBSERVING.

✨ How do they show up when things are easy—and when they’re not?
✨ How do you feel in their presence (not just how much you like them)?
✨ Are their actions matching their words?

At the same time, you want to show up in your truth.
Be honest. Be open. Be willing to share what you value, what you want, and what you’re looking for.

Because the goal isn’t to “get” someone to like you…
It’s to create a connection rooted in honesty, safety, and alignment.

And if being real scares them off?
Let them go.
That’s not rejection—it’s redirection.

Getting clear on your vision is everything.
→ What are your values?
→ What are your dealbreakers?
→ What would it feel like to be met emotionally, spiritually, physically?

If you’re unsure where to begin, start with what hasn’t worked.
From there, you can begin to map out what you truly desire.
When you know what you’re a “no” to, your “yes” becomes a lot clearer.

Another thing to be mindful of: don’t rush the physical connection.
Sex can be beautiful, but it can also cloud your ability to see clearly—especially when your body starts bonding before your heart has all the information it needs.
So honor your pacing. And don’t bypass red flags in the name of chemistry.

This work takes practice, and it can feel messy at times.
You might feel vulnerable.
You might feel tempted to go back to what’s familiar.
But the more you stay in alignment with your truth, the more you open the door to something real.

And remember: most of us weren’t modeled healthy relating.
So if you’re fumbling through it, you’re not doing it wrong—you’re actually doing the work.

💫I support my clients in dating consciously, so they can break old patterns, honor their needs, and create healthy love from the inside out.

If you’re ready for that kind of support, I’d love to connect.
Click here to book a consult call.