Allowing Yourself To Be Exactly Where You Are

As I navigated a breakup a while back, I noticed something that stuck with me…

When I went to people for support, many of them jumped into “fix-it” mode. They wanted to give me advice or help me shift my mindset—rather than simply holding space for what I was feeling.

It came from love, but it actually created more pain.

Especially for someone who feels emotions deeply, being met with “try this” or “you’ll be okay” can feel like you’re being asked to speed up your healing process. It adds shame to the already existing heartbreak. And suddenly, you’re not only in pain—you’re also feeling like something is wrong with you for being in pain.

Here’s what I’ve learned:

• When we push against our emotions, they push back.

• When we allow them space, they feel held and supported and very often will begin to move.

We’ve been taught to shame our sadness, rush our grief, or hide our anger. But these emotions are part of being human. They don’t need to be “fixed”—they need to be felt.

If you’re not familiar with the term “holding space,” it’s a game-changer.
Holding space means being present with someone’s emotions—without trying to change them, fix them, or rush them.

It means offering safety and compassion instead of solutions.
It’s one of the most healing things we can learn to do.

But we can’t do it for others until we learn to do it for ourselves.

That means meeting our own experience with grace.
Sitting with our discomfort, not shaming it.
Letting our emotions move through us instead of avoiding them or pretending they’re not there.

The next time someone opens up to you, try listening without offering advice.
Reflect back what you hear.
Let them know it’s okay to be where they are.
Sometimes that’s all any of us need—to feel seen, heard, and safe to be human.

And if this is something you’re working on… I can help.

This is a huge part of the work I do with clients—learning how to hold space for yourself, so you can show up differently in your relationships and life.

If this resonates and you want to go deeper, let’s connect.
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